This is another older article, which I saved from Contessa.

 

A reader asks:

I’m a male , 30 years old. I have always be insecure about my body and that have influence my self-confidence and that I did not have a normal realtionship with a woman. On school and after school (friends, media) put so much emphasis on size of a man and woman body parts.

I felt insecure if I will be able to please and satisfy the wife I will be married one day. I thought will my penis be too small for her or not??

I have a question related to sexuality that I’m afraid of to ask privately.

• What do you think of my penis size of only 4 3/4 inches erected (alias 13 cm erected). ?
• Do you think it is long enough to give you (a woman) pleasure and orgasm?
• What do you think other woman will think of my penis size and length? Will it be big and long enough to give them pleasure and orgasm?

*sigh*

Gentlemen, we appear to have a communication problem, which we have all known for several hundred years, but the Countessa is bored to death of it. And so I shall state this once, in painful detail, and then ask each of you to read it seventeen times, or until you can recite it from memory, whichever comes second.

There is more than one way to satisfy a woman. Having a large penis does NOT guarantee that you will be a good, or even decent lover. Having a small penis does NOT mean that you cannot be an excellent lover and satisfy your partner(s) regularly.

There is more than one way to satisfy a woman. Intercourse ALONE without any foreplay, without clitoral stimulation, without understanding any of her needs and assuming that only lots of hard pounding with a massive tool is the only thing she desires, will NEVER get ANY woman off.

Is that clear? Need I say it again?

Intercourse without foreplay or clitoral stimuation will NOT make the very greatest majority of women come.

This is the great problem with pornography. It perpetuates the myth that women have orgasms doing whatever men want/like/are interested in doing. It portrays women as utterly enraptured by penises because men are. This is a LIE. That means it is NOT TRUE. Whatever you have seen on your sex videos or read under the heading of “My favorite turn-ons” from this month’s centerfold (where she insists that nothing makes her come like sucking dick, or that she loves it when a man just starts to fuck her without any preliminaries) is a LIE. It is feeding into your fantasy view of the world and has nothing whatever to do with reality.

This is the Countessa’s largest complaint about pornography, which she really would like to like. But it is so full of misinformation about women’s sexual preferences that she can only think that it is to blame for the fact that the greatest majority of men in the world are bad lovers.

What do women want, they all ask. Women want to receive oral sex. If you are good at this, it wouldn’t matter if you were a giant anteater from outer space. It wouldn’t matter if you were a beggar, if you had leprosy, if (name any terrible thing you can imagine here.) If you are good at giving oral sex, you will be a success.

If you enjoy oral sex, all the better. Women like foreplay. Women really need clitoral stimulation, and you should take the time to learn how precisely each individual lover responds to various stimulation. Women need some time to become aroused. Generous use of a good lubricant is often helpful to making her feel good and enjoy herself, not just used. There are even flavored lubes out there, along with the classic chocolate syurp (we will not indulge in the Hershey’s vs. U-Bet debate here) and whipped cream.

Women also like men who take the time and show the interest to discover what this person as and individual likes and wants. Men who are not selfish, who do not assume that what feels good to them feels good to their partners, who are not ashamed to ask their partners what they might enjoy.

If you don’t think about you and your penis but think more about her and her pleasure, then size matters very little.

Or perhaps it is the size of your heart, your desire to please her, that is the size that matters the most.

Best of luck,

Contessa Noire