Here’s the funniest thing: for the most part, I don’t think there’s ANY problem with men. Sure, they’re different from women, kind of like an exotic species of fauna that’s interesting to look at but not always so easy to understand, but I don’t think this is a problem. I refuse to become one of those women bemoaning “why all men are jerks”, “why I always seem to like the assholes”, or anything similar. I’ve had a wonderful cornucopia of men in my life and while some encounters have turned out badly, I try very hard not to blame the men. And if I am forced to blame the men, I try very very hard to make sure I blame the person, not the gender.
Little things like this will help keep me from being a bitter 30-year old divorcee.
Besides which, men are a wonderful thing. They smell good, they have wonderful hands and fingers, their chests are equally as fascinating to me as women’s breasts are to them, and it’s rare that I meet a cock I don’t want to play with for hours. They have the ability to be just as sweet and thoughtful and a good friend as a woman.
Which is why articles like this one – Nice Guys Finish Last – at AskMen.com (via Mike) steam me up.
The premise: all women like assholes. So… here’s how to become one.
<gritting teeth> For the record, I don’t think women like assholes. For me, there are certain traits I’m attracted to and continue to be attracted to time and time again. These traits include intelligence, confidence, a sense of humour, and the ability to hold a great conversation. After that, I’m attracted to eyes, hands, and hair. If he’s missing the first few, I don’t even bother looking at the rest.
Now, sometimes I run across a man who has all these traits and also has interesting traits like deliberately hurts me, is voraciously noncommittal, or prioritizes even watching Looney Tunes reruns ahead of me, but that doesn’t mean I’m attracted to assholes. It means that some – and only some – of the men who have the traits I *am* attracted to also happen to have asshole-like qualities to boot. The only way to find these latter ones is to actually give the guy a chance – nastier traits always seem to take a little longer to find.
But the thought of giving guys advice on how to become assholes is anathema to me.Men, you’d be so much better off reading the articles at Maxim about how to please your woman. Learn enough of these tricks, and you’ll have women panting after you like you’re a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.